Toasts Toasts Scalawag Logo

Here's to us 
Who's like us? 
There's very, very few 
And they're all bloody dead!!
Kirt Thomson, in the highlands of Scotland after too much tequila. 
Here's to it 
Because we all do it 
And if you don't do it 
You should be lead to it 
Tied to it 
Made to do it 
And if you still won't do it 
I'll do it 
Because I'm used to it 
And I love it!!
Leslie Tucker/Fischer
Oh dear little Flo 
how I love you so 
especially in your nighty 
when the moonlight flits 
across your tits 
oh Jesus Christ Almighty!!
Dudley Moore
Here’s to you and here’s to me 
best of friends we’ll always be 
but if you should ever cross me 
then fuck you and here’s to me.
Conditional Friends
Friendship's the wine of life. 
Let's drink of it and to it.
She offered me her honor 
And I honored her offer, 
And all night long 
I was on her and off her.
An Anonymous Irish-Italian San Franciscan
Wine comes in at the mouth 
and love comes in at the eye; 
That's all we shall know for truth 
Before we grow old and die. 
I lift the glass to my mouth, 
I look at you, and I sigh.
William Butler Yeats
Here’s to the pretty girls that went to our heads 
here’s to the witty girls that went to our beds 
here’s to them, and here’s to you.
From Les Mis
Here’s to it 
and for it 
and to it again. 
And if you ever get to it 
and do not do it, 
May you never get to it 
to do it 
A girl named Alison from Australia. 

Party time!

To the spirit of the holiday season, 
May peace on earth and goodwill toward men, 
never be as hard to come by as a fine sipping whiskey.
Holiday Spirit (Jack Daniels)
Here’s to Eve, the mother of our race, 
who had her fig leaves all in the right place, 
and here’s to Adam, the father of us all, 
who was in the right place when the leaves did fall.
Creation (author unknown)
One drink is good 
Two at the most 
Three under the table 
Four under the host!
Hostest with the mostest
Here’s to our guests. 
Don’t let them rest. 
Keep their elbows bending. 
Tis time to drink! 
Full time to think 
Tomorrow when your mending.
Tomorrow (author unknown)
Here's to a long life and a merry one. 
A quick death and an easy one. 
A pretty girl and an honest one. 
A cold beer....and another one.
CJ Glynn
Press here for audio
Here’s to our wives 
and here’s to our lovers, 
May they mever meet!
Mischievous Men
May you live as long as you want, 
And never want as long as you live.
Traditional Irish Toast
An Irishman is never drunk as long as 
He can hold onto one blade of grass and not 
Fall off the face of the earth.
Ron O'Rourke, who has definately kissed the Blarney Stone!! 
May the road rise to meet you. 
May the wind be always at your back. 
May the sun shine warm upon your face. 
And rains fall soft upon your fields. 
And until we meet again, 
May God hold you in the hollow of His hand.
Traditional Irish Toast
Here’s to you and yours 
And to mine and ours. 
And if mine and ours 
Ever come across to you and yours, 
I hope you and yours will do 
As much for mine and ours 
As mine and ours have done 
For you and yours!
Tongue Twister
May you live all the days of your life. Jonathan Swift
There are good ships, and there are wood ships, 
The ships that sail the sea. 
But the best ships, are friendships, 
And may they always be.
The wind that blows, 
the ship that goes, 
and the lass that loves a sailor!
Friends may come and friends may go,
Friends may sail away you know,
Though friends will stick through thick and thin,
Sail on out and sail back in.......
(Chin chin!!)
Sailing Friends 
(Susi and Tracy from Hawaii,
s/v TuTuTango,
Yacht Club Kipukanoa, 
3800 feet above sea level)
Here’s to a sweetheart, a bottle, and a friend. 
The first beautiful, the second full, the last ever faithful.
Here's to the four hinges of Friendship- 
Swearing, Lying, Stealing, and Drinking. 
When you swear, swear by your country; 
When you lie, lie for a pretty woman; 
When you steal, steal away from bad company; 
And when you drink, drink with me.
Here’s to health and prosperity, 
To you and all your posterity. 
And them that doesn’t drink with sincerity, 
That they may be damned for all eternity!
'Twas an evening in November, 
As I very well remember. 
I was strolling down the street in drunken pride, 
But my knees were all aflutter, 
So I landed in the gutter, 
And a pig came up a lay down by my side. 
Yes, I lay there in the gutter 
Thinking thoughts I could not utter, 
When a colleen passing by did softly say, 
"You can tell a man that boozes 
By the company he chooses." 
At that the pig got up and walked away!
"The Irish Pig"

When we drink, we get drunk. 
When we get drunk, we fall asleep. 
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. 
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. 
So, let’s all get drunk, and go to heaven!
Old Irish Toast

On the chest of a barmaid in Sale 
Were tattooed the prices of ale. 
And on her behind, 
For the sake of the blind, 
Was the same information in Braille!
Sight Impaired Toast
Here's champagne to your real friends 
And real pain to your sham friends!
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. Winston Churchill
Life, alas, 
Is very dear. 
Up with the glass, 
Down with the beer!
Louis Untermeyer
Who loves not women, wine, and song, 
Remains a fool his whole life long.
Johann Heinrich Voss
May all your ups and downs be between the sheets. 

You marry not one person, but three: 
The person you think they are, 
The person they really are, 
And the person they become 
as a result of being married to you. 

There are three rings of marriage: 
The engagement ring, 
The wedding ring, 
And the "suffer-ing". 

Down the hatch, to a striking match!!

Toasts offered to Sarge Kennedy and Deb Smith on their wedding.


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